She passed me the agreement she drafted, and asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, and which is you carrying me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.
I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don’t tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn’t tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, it seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But then suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential past of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.
I held her tightly and said, both of you and I didn’t notice that our life lacked of intimacy.
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won’t divorce. I’m serious.
She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said, I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won’t divorce. my marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of life, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, “I’ll carry you out every morning until we are old.”
One day I said to her in slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn’t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
When my wife went to the office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I’ve got something to tell you. I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly.
She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words. Instead she asked me softly, why? I’m serious. I avoided her question. This so=called answer made her angry. She threw away her chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
That night we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and asleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month time before divorce and in the month’s time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple : our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn’t want him to see our marriage was broken.
To my married and unmarried friends :
this is a very touching story, please read it slowly….
this is a very touching story, please read it slowly….
When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carry her out of the car in my arms. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
This was the scene ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water. We had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seems to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. our kid was studying in a boarding school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, you are a kind of man who best draws girl’s eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.
Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn’t help doing so.
I moved Dew’s hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K? I’ve got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.
Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew’s body. This was the means of my entertainment.
“Maaf encik, tiada pesanan atas nama Mr Azli,” kata pekerja di kaunter kek. Mustahil.
“Boleh you check sekali lagi?” Pinta Azli. Pekerja tadi terus menuju ke belakang kaunter dan menarik fail pesanan. Setiap helaian pesanan diperiksa teliti bagi memuaskan hati pelanggannya. Seketika kemudian, seorang lelaki mendekati pekerja terbabit. Mereka berbincang seketika kemudian lelaki tadi mendekatinya.
“Mr Azli Nobody?” Tanya lelaki tersebut. Tag namanya tercatat Jamal – Supervisor.
“Sorry?” Azli terkejut.
“Mr Azli Nobody? Our regular customer, Moist Chocolate cake on every 3rd December, “ kata Jamal. Azli tahu reaksinya agak keterlaluan. Tapi mana si Jamal ni tahu nicknamenya?
“What can I do for your sir?” Aik, Jamal ni.
“No, I just wonder if there any cakes ordered for me?” Dia tidak malu lagi. Mungkin kek sudah di beli tetapi staff kedai ni lupa untuk call dia.
“Sorry Mr Azli, not this year. I Jamal, supervisor disini. I pun pelik sebab dia tak datang tahun ni. Biasanya 1st December dia akan datang untuk buat tempahan tapi sehingga hari ni, tak Nampak pun dia malah I cuba call no dia mana la tau dia lupa tapi tak dapat,” terang Jamal. Azli sedikit kecewa. Dia berharap untuk berjumpa gadis tersebut untuk kali pertama dalam lima tahun ini.
“Even birthday dia tahun ni pun dia tak datang,” tambah Jamal lagi.
“Dia selalu datang sini ke?” Rapatkah hubungan dia dengan Jamal?
“Boleh dikatakan selalu juga la. Sekejap,” Jamal menuju ke arah bilik pekerja. Seketika kemudian dia datang dengan sebuah album. Jamal menyelak beberapa helaian album tersebut dan berhenti di helaian ke empat. Dia mengeluarkan beberapa keping gambar untuk Azli.
Azli melihat gambar-gambar terbabit. Ya, inilah dia. Tapi kenapa Jamal banyak meyimpan gambar gadis ini? Didalam gambar lain kelihatan gadis ini megitu mesra dengan pekerja kedai ini. Dia memandang Jamal, cuba untuk mencari penjelasan.
“I ingat lagi lima tahun lepas, bulan pertama I kerja disini. Dia beli sebiji kek untuk diberikan kepada seseorang. Kemudian dia beli lagi satu slice kek yang sama dan duduk di meja di hadapan tu,” Jamal menunjukkan meja yang dimaksudkan.
“Dia makan kek tu perlahan-lahan. Sesiapa pun yang tengok dia pasti cemburu melihat dia. Hanya dengan sepotong kek dan segelas Ice chocolate, dia menikmatinya dengan penuh kesungguhan. Dia senyum setiap kali menyuap kek ke mulutnya,” Jamal mengeluarkan sekeping gambar dan menunjukkannya kepada Azli.
Azli terpegun melihat gambar yang dihulurkan oleh Jamal. Wajah yang dirinduinya. Walaupun jauh pandangan yang dilontarkan namun kegembiraan serta senyumannya yang ikhlas terpancar. Hati siapa yang tidak tertawan. Azli tidak mampu untuk berbicara. Matanya cuba menangkap setiap setiap imej yang diberi oleh Jamal.
“Dia pesan, jika kek yang di belinya tidak di ambil dalam tiga hari, call nombor yang dia tinggalkan. Jika orang tu tak nak ambil, baru call dia,” sambung Jamal. Ya, dia masih ingat.
‘Hi Mr Anonymous. It’s me-again. Tmrw is Mr Azli’s b’day. I bought him a cake. Can u tell him to pick it up at Secret Recipe The Curve? Or may be u can do it on his behalf and celebr8 with him for me?Tell him I wish him all the best. Thanks-Amy’ dia masih lagi menyimpan sms dari tahun lepas. Gadis itu sedikit pun tidak tahu itu adalah nombornya bukan nombor kawannya seperti yang diberitahu kepada gadis itu.
“Gambar ni di ambil pada harijadinya tahun yang berikutnya. Dia datang dan beli sebiji kek, dia duduk di meja yang sama. Pada mulanya I pelik sebab dia dah lama duduk kat meja tu so I Tanya dia. Rupanya tiada yang nak sambut harijadinya so kami staff kat sini yang raikan. Dan ia berterusan sehingga tahun lepas,” Kasihan Amelia, begitu sunyikah Amelia? Dia meraikan harijadi orang lain tetapi harijadi sendiri, dia kesunyian malah menyambutnya dengan orang yang tak dikenali.
“Mana gambar tahun ni punya birthday?” Tanya Azli. Dia mencari-cari di bawah timbunan gambar yang di atas meja.
“Itu harijadinya yang terakhir bersama kami,” walaupun perlahan tapi keluhan Jamal masih kedengaran. Terdapat sedikit kekesalan pada wajah lelaki tersebut. “Dia kelakar dan memang seorang kawan yang baik. Dia selalu datang melawat kami kat sini dan kami dah jadi kawan yang rapat. Kami semua rindukan dia,” Jamal melontarkan pandangannya jauh ke dalam bangunan Ikea.
Azli mencari kekuatan untuk bercakap. Amelia tiba-tiba menghilang tanpa dapat dijejaki. Kata-kata Jamal yang seterusnya tidak mampu lagi menangkap perhatiannya. Dia perlu mencari Amelia. Dia bangun dan berjalan ke arah keretanya. Dia mendail no di handphonenya. Kini hanya seorang sahaja yang dapat membantunya.
“Joe, aku perlukan bantuan kau,”
Kebelakangan ini, idea mengenai kisah cinta sudah tidak muncul lagi.. sedangkan cerpen Cinta Untuk Amelia sudah lama di ilhamkan... ntah la..mungkin kerana aku sendiri bukan dalam perhubungan...